Thursday, July 14, 2011

It’s Dowry, Not Gender


With recent heed to the brutal crime of female infanticide, and the plans for imposing stringent regulations against the offenders of such crime, Indian government may also need to fasten its anti-dowry laws under section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC). The dowry system in India has been a cultural relic that over the years has proved to be pagan and covetous. As a hedonistic practice, dowry has made marriage in India a predatory tradition indeed. Eons ago, dowry was a custom that ensured economic security of the bride, and was not overwhelming for her parents. Today, however, it is an inundated obligation that leads to a massacre of innocent souls who are entrapped and pushed into a burning pot. Often, girls’ education, including the costs associated with her professional standing is a financial responsibility of the parents in India. Dowry though is an expense over and above this. Also, both rural and urban parents aspire to accomplish their responsibilities towards the girl child amiably. However, parent’s socio-economic statuses and the uncouth social and cultural pressures in society play a significant role against this endeavor. A majority of parents who are working class or are in the rural areas with least economic feasibilities can thus only fulfill bare necessities.

The fear, threat, and demand for dowry are so massive that a bridegroom’s family can easily chaff the grains from the grass while looking for a match for their boy. What counts as a suitable match for their ‘boy’ is a list beyond a girl’s character, values, or her professional education. It instead has to do a lot with her parent’s economic background, their bank balance, and ownership of property. Demand for dowry gets double in cases where the groom has a sister of marriageable age. There are requisitions and expectations that include expenses for the groom’s sister’s marriage reception besides marriage accommodation and travel expenses. This all is a collective burden on a bride’s helpless parents. Ironically, most gold digger in-laws are those who have daughter(s), and most dowry demands are initiated by mother-in-laws who have been someone’s daughters themselves. Insufficient dowry is also a prominent cause for family feud post marriage. In cases where the in-laws are not satisfied with the overall marital transaction, they continuously harass the daughter-in-law for dowry. However, if the daughter-in-law is not submissive enough to the pretentious and imposing demands of the in-laws, she is finally type casted as the ‘black sheep.’ Dowry is also an antecedent to domestic violence in India. Some of the Indian states with dowry as a rising criminal offense are Uttar Pradesh (UP), Jharkhand, Andhra Pradesh (AP), Kerala, and Punjab. 

In addition, there are innumerable cases of dowry deaths and harassment that go unheard and unnoticed because of a patriarchal society that favors sons over daughters besides a failing law that hardly prohibits the lustful practice of dowry. Unfortunately, dowry is a social evil that mainly victimizes and traumatizes a girl, including her parents. In India, girls who are dowry survivors rarely have a strong social support system and anti-dowry laws are barely a blazing agenda among the political parties as well. Also, there isn’t enough political picketing against dowry and thus many poor and urban Indian families wish that they never bear a daughter. Dowry is a big devil that costs an exorbitant price for being a girl and for having a gender that is so ruthlessly knocked off in the womb or slayed at birth. Saving India’s unborn daughters from the clutches of a social evil like dowry would thus be a tribute to its lost and slain daughters.   

Copyright (c) 2011 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Photo Courtesy:  Lakshmi Prabhala/acctitude

14 comments:

  1. Nice post barkha.... i often visit ur blog, have also added to list of my fav blogs, this dowry topic u hv raised is awesome.... u r doin grt job...!!

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  2. it is the attitude that needs to be changed along with a diligent implementation of the existing laws..

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  3. do you really believe that making laws can get things right. more important is changing the attitude of people. education is very important step to open the minds of people. dowry and female infanticide are really shameful thing for our society and we should let go of it by wish and not by law alone.

    www.endangeredindia.blogspot.com

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  4. Laws mean next to nothing in India. Not too long ago, they made a law in Maharashtra that files would not be kept with any officer for more than a week. It was meant to stop red-tapism. The law was made in response to Anna Hazare's fast for the same. But today files keep pending in Maharashtra's offices longer than earlier. The law was made only to stop Hazare's fast!
    Awareness is the only thing that can change attitudes. Awareness that leads to raising the level of consciousness.

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  5. You had left the link for me to read, so here I am. enumeration is good but does not bring about any concrete solution to the problem. It is definitely gender because dowry is a gendered practice, there are very few communities that practice dower or bride price. Even where communities practice bride price they tend to shift to dowry so as to acquire status by assimilating to mainstream practices.

    Awareness and counsciousness raising are the buzz words but haven't done much on this issue. The only solution DG foresees is to stand up and say this wasteful practice stops with me. I refuse to practice it and be party to it in any form.

    Peace,
    Desi Girl

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  6. Thanks Scribbler for stopping by and for your kind words.

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  7. @ Magiceye-Yes, you are right my friend. If people are more aware of the many dark shades of dowry and realize that marriage is not a material transaction, things would begin to change. Thank for your comment.

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  8. Hey Rohit,
    Thanks for your visit and comment. Leaving everything to law is not the solution I desire either for dowry or female infanticide, but having laws just for name sake or lip service is of no use either. And If there are no laws at all and we leave social change to the wish and discretion of people, then I am not sure if that alone is going to serve any purpose. Even if a single person wants to change, there are so many social forces that would act against him. Taking dowry as one example here, we know that there are existing laws against it and people are also aware of the social ailments that the practice of dowry can cause. But things still remain the same. In fact, people believe if my neighbor’s son got a Santro or Maruti as a gift, then my son should at the least get a Toyota! For starters, I think there should be more social support systems in place as a fundamental step to awareness and education. Girls and boys both have to stand against such evils.

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  9. I hear you Matheikal. There are many ailing laws in India that as on date seem to serve limited or no purpose at all. But if things need to change, there has to be legal reforms as well. Raising social consciousness about dowry and other social evils is highly important and a must. But there also has to be political advocacy about the issue. Thanks for your visit and comment.

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  10. Thank you for your visit DG. At the outset, let me say that there are powerful and impressive voices such as yours against the practice of dowry. In my view, enumeration of a problem is the first step to awareness (both realizing that this happened to me and generating information on the issue). If it wasn’t for enumeration, then there wouldn’t have been people speaking out against this issue and keeping silent would kill. Don’t you think so? Secondly, it is the fear of dowry that has made being a girl a humiliating aspect. Even some highly educated and rich families do not welcome a girl’s birth. Finally, as for standing up against the practice of dowry, you certainly have me my friend!
    Love and Hugs,
    Barkha Dhar

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  11. A very apt post in today's times when the crime is burgeoning with increased literacy rate.

    Do read sunithakrishnan.blogspot.com -- She is a social activist. Perhaps, it may give you more insight.

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  12. Thank you Divenita for stopping by and for your suggestion. Surprisingly, the more literate we are, the more vulnerable we become to crime. It seems that education had gone down the drain for those people who despite being learned individuals still participate in uncivilized crimes like dowry.

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  13. Beautiful post. I'd agree that laws in India are broken with no efforts. Moreover, the mob coming up from the remote areas should be imparted at least basic education.

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  14. Thank you Aakash and yes I agree that educaion and emancipation can work in positive ways to end ignorance about such issues.

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