Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Slimy Death

A Guest Post by Farida Rizwan

Who in this mortal world can be so clever?
As to escape death and live forever.
Whoever at a time had a chance of life’s greeting,
Sure with death will have an appointed meeting.

 Nothing can escape death, be it however strong. 
Everything has an end, though some may live very long. 
The sun, moon, stars and all the milky way, 
Will have to face death, on a certain day

 Merciless death! Who all have turned into corpse? 
Once livid things, how sad they now sleep like tops. 
A painter who could depict his mind on canvas, 
A man with a voice that could sway the mass.

 A killer who for money had taken many lives, 
And the one who must have widowed his many wives, 
A being with a heart of gold or the one with temper wild, 
A mother who was yet to feed her newborn child.

 A soldier fighting out bravely in midst of a battle, 
An innocent child was enjoying his rattle, 
The one who had no fun but lived in strife, 
Along with the one who cared a lot for unfaithful life.

 The person worth a lot for his knowledge was great 
Death never cares when it is out of straight 
It shows no discrimination to any living man 
For each it has fixed a certain life span

 Carelessly it plucks from kids their mothers 
Death is a must for even those who spent their lives for others 
The wailing mother can earn no pity from death 
Nor a thousand tears can earn a single breath 

Death does not stand admiring a soldier brave 
It just goes about on its job of filling the grave 
Death is not bought or sold at any store 
It may just strike from blue or from earth’s core

 It may strike one who has trodden enough on the earth 
Or one who is just enjoying his birth 
The poor cannot sell it, the rich cannot buy it 
The weak cannot hide from it, the strong cannot tie it

 The shadow of death lurks here, there and everywhere 
It can be found hiding just about anywhere 
When it holds life with its steely grip 
Life has no chance, but to start its final trip

 When will come the dark angel, my hand to hold? 
Just the thought makes my blood run cold 
To strike the paper with pen as my hand bends 
Death must be leading how many towards their ends?????
BY: Farida Rizwan

Copyright © 2011 - Present

About The Author: 

Farida Rizwan is an inimitable and an inspiring blogger from She believes that every piece of her life has been like a chapter that has always left her with an inevitable lesson. A striking yet touching chapter of her life surrounds around her strength to survive stage 3 Cancer. Farida believes that the disease left an indelible mark on her personality besides providing her the power to reinvent her life in many ways. Farida today yearns to be a self-actualized individual. She believes that sometimes god chooses the direction for us and we just need to believe in his chosen route for us.          

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Silent Treatment: The Hidden Abuse

A Guest Post by Life Riddles

If you are in a relationship of any kind, at one point or another you are going to encounter it!
It is not: Time Out, Giving some space, lay off, Cooling off or any other fancy description, It is a form of abuse called: The Silent Treatment,

Do not let the name fools you though; this is one serious relationship breaker that keeps bugging you or your partner until one of you cannot take it anymore and call it quits. It is a form of social rejection that affects couples everywhere and everyday, at its worst; it is Continual Silent Treatment, where the person gives a partner utter silence for days or weeks on end, and some will make the effort to avoid being in the same room!

The causes
Every relationship is composed of Passive and Aggressive partners with a variation in the degree of aggression. Which in turn reflects in the way each of them uses the silent treatment:
  • The passive partner uses silent treatment as a form of defense: Ignoring the problem will make it go away, or as a reaction to a hurtful situation which demands some space to think things over.
  • On the other hand; the aggressive partner uses silent treatment as a measure of control, or as a punishment for something his or her partner did. Now we are talking about Abuse

The effects:

  • Physical: Silent treatment triggers what is called “Social pain” in the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex of your brain, the very same location of actual physical pain.
  • Emotional: Since it is a form of social rejection; it affects the caudate nucleus of your brain provoking a mix of negative emotions including: Frustration, intense anger, and eventually, resignation and despair.
  • Psychological: You will suffer from low self esteem, a sense of loss and not belonging, increased stress and loss of control.
  • Behavioral: The constant fear of receiving the silent treatment casts a shadow of uncertainty in your life, you begin to watch closely for every word and action on your part and you second-guess yourself: Am I doing the right thing? Am I saying the right words? In other words: You try hard to avoid it, which changes you onto a person that is no longer YOU.

How to deal with it:

Keep your anger in check:
Reacting to silent treatment in anger reinforces the abuser sense of control over you” Hey, it works! I’ll use it again” and the episodes keep on coming.

Apologize first, ask WHY later:
You cannot read minds so might as well start a conversation anyway; apologizing for something you did (or did not) is the softer approach in any conflict. And then ask why, you have the right to know if that person is giving you the cold shoulder for a reason. If your apology or question falls on deaf ears; do not blame yourself and start looking for a way out of that relationship.

Express your feelings:
Admitting to your partner your pain as a result from him/her giving you the silent treatment is not giving up control, it is simply putting the issue up front and center, it shows your intent on keeping that relationship going.

Have an open mind:
To what your partner has to say about his/her reasons that ended up with the silent treatment. Make sure you do not ridicule them no matter how trivial they sound; after all, we all have different personalities.

Do not fight silence with silence:
That would make things even worse, it leads to a complete breakup in communication, besides, one of you has to be the grownup!
And finally,

Explore the alternative:
Ending an unhealthy relation is far better than staying in it and ”biting the bullet”, life is too short to spend in hate, anger and daily turmoil.

Copyright © 2011 - Present Life Riddles
Photo Courtesy: Anonymous

About The Author: 

We are a husband and wife who love to blog about everyday’s life; we take turns being logical and emotional; though she is stronger on the emotional side by nature, we share the good times as well as the bad times and look forward to the challenges of a new day.
You could only imagine what would:  She Said and He Said as our pen names bring to the conversation,
Life is a big riddle; we all live it!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Barkha Dhar’s Blogs On Social Issues: A Happy 2nd Blogoversary

Since the 9th day of August 2009, the past 730 days have been moments of subtle reckoning that have blessed me with a profound opportunity to peruse the world around me. Sharing million thoughts and a heap of emotions in just few sentences indeed has been a commemoration of my being. In the last two years, my blog posts have compounded upon my ideas and opinions. They have pulled me out of the realm of silence and have consorted me into a sphere where I can not only be heard, but also hear others. Blogging has been a journey in time and space that has imbued me with a fresh intent in life. It has also acquainted me to some likeminded people whose beaming inklings have been worthy of adoration, praise, and love. In the past two years, my blog has touched countless hearts in return for a measureless beatitude. In addition, my fellow bloggers have recognized my efforts and have provided me with a stout support to rub on important social issues. The world of blogging has delved a call into a cause and I believe that it is never too late to transform the cause into an incentive for change.

In the time gone by, the sundry of comments from my fellow bloggers have touched me deeply and have fondled me with their virtual hugs. I shall always be indebted for the gratitude they have shown over time. My fellow bloggers, including my facebook friends, followers, and all others keen on social change have been like the beads of a necklace that would be unfinished if the pearls were lacking the beauty and coherence of being a jewel. Also, it is always a moment of pleasure to be felicitated with comments, such as “amazing,” “thought-provoking,” or “being someone’s favorite blog!” But at the same time there are moments filled up with pungent feelings when people acknowledge someone’s pain and wounds and denote it as “sad,” “depressing,” “tragic,” or simply share their ideas on change. My blog has been a leeway for a range of issues that boggle an ordinary Joe. Stepping into Joe’s shoes and watching the world through his eyes thus has expanded my ambit. Once again, I thank all my fellow bloggers, friends, and followers for their recurrent encouragement. Last, but not the least, I express my gratitude to my family who have shown their warmth and passionate affection throughout the inception of my blog. Finally, a thank you also to my critics whose microscopic vision and frozen notions have unrelentingly judged me. In fact I pity some of those cold-blooded nitpickers who have been deliberately trying to tinker with my posts. Here’s a kind suggestion to those ignorant petty minds to embed their thoughts and actions into positive and productive fields instead of foolish and disruptive means.
Enjoy the perky video in the post!

Keep Loving & Praying
Barkha Dhar

Copyright (c) 2011 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy:

Friday, August 5, 2011

Child Pornography: Sexploitation On The World Wide Web

In 2004, a UNICEF document mentioned an account of 17 children who were sexually exploited by three foreign nationals in Manila, Philippines. The document revealed that in addition to sexually abusing the innocent children, the accused foreign nationals also took a video footage of these children undressing in sexually suggestive poses. In yet another incident in 2009, the Bangkok Post published a chilling news feature mentioning the sale of child porn DVD’s & VCD’s on the streets of one of Bangkok’s busiest roads. These VCD’s that were sold out in the public like cupcakes and candies depicted children from countries like Burma, The Philippines, Thailand, and Europe in sexual acts. What remains morally lethal is the fact that these children were as young as seven and that their impeccability was bartered for obscenity and immorality in order to aid a sexually deviant behavior. With the advent and subsequent boost of the internet, child pornography today has become one of the fastest growing industries for commercial sexual exploitation. 

It is said that the World Wide Web has brought more zing to a pedophile’s sexual gratification and has added to a pimp’s plum, but contemptible business. Jerry Ropelato, a recognized Internet safety expert and the CEO of TopTen Reviews Incorporation says that every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. Also, every second about 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography and that every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being developed in the United States. Jerry further explains that pornography industry has larger revenues than IT giants, such as Microsoft, Google, Amazon, Yahoo, Apple, & Netflix. However, internet is not the only medium of such filthy entertainment though it is the most accessible means today.

In February of 2011, The U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) & the Department of Justice (DOJ) seized ten pornographic websites in San Diego, California. These websites were mainly engaged in advertisement and distribution of child pornography. As recent as 3rd of August, 2011, there has been bombarding news of criminal charges against 72 people involved in child pornography network. Out of these 72 accused people, 52 have been arrested in the U.S. and 13 other countries like Canada, Denmark, Ecuador, France, Germany, Hungary, Kenya, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Qatar, Serbia, Sweden, and Switzerland. This dismaying news that disclosed about the accused members also charged them of having a global community of pedophiles who were devoted to unkempt means of child victimization and sexual abuse of children twelve and under, including some children who were just babies. 

Sexploitation of children is the most heinous crime ever that deprives children of their human rights and results in a long term psychological trauma. These children are abused and are subject to repeated rapes, severe beatings and sometimes even forced to drug addiction. Most child sexual abuse victims especially the ones lured into child prostitution or pornography undergo coerced behavioral transformations and are forced to overlook their actual identities. Some of the victims are also duped into juvenile delinquencies. In addition, most child sexual abuse victims show symptoms of mental and emotional health problems, such as nervousness or aggressive behavior towards adults, chronic depression, low self-esteem, or multiple personalities. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the most common consequence besides nightmares or flashbacks. Moreover, some child sexual abuse victims become perpetrators or prostitutes as adults and find it difficult to relate with others except on sexual terms. Community re-entry is also a huge problem in many child sexual abuse survivors as their past appears like a haunted dream that follows them for long. Some survivors are also prone to higher recidivism rates. 

Conscious parenting is a major deterrent to any kind of victimization or psychological damage during early childhood years, including pubescent and prepubescent periods. Being involved as much as possible with our child’s development early on is critical as it helps maintain positive parent-child communication. Restricting internet accessibility is yet another way to prevent unwanted exposure to sexually explicit material besides falling prey to the gambit of pedophiles on the worldwide web. Trust is one other major factor of sexploitation of children. Abusers may also be people among family or friends that appear trustworthy, but their familiarity and presence may actually be dangerous. Such people may catch young innocent children unaware and in absence of parent(s) and entrap little children into their obscene pleasure and uncouth desires. 

Poverty is another cause for child pornography and sexploitation. Many poor or economically deprived parents knowingly sell their children into such business to earn livelihood. Once lured into child pornography, prostitution is the next logical step for most child sexual abuse victims. When these children are caught by law enforcement institutions, they are mostly held and treated as criminals instead of victims. Child pornography is an international crime that has spread like a deadly virus across continents. The business of pornography is an organized crime divided into numerous unidentified rings. Stricter stipulations thus are required at national and international law enforcement levels. Despite international cooperation to combat child pornography, only miniscule victims are located each year by law enforcement agencies. Hacking someone’s emotions or stealing their innocent lives is a mortifying sin that should require a punishment that is more severe than just life imprisonment and/or a fine of few thousand dollars.

Copyright (c) 2011 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy:  ECPAT France

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

It’s Tough To Be A Man

Historically, men have been known to act as muzzles that have prevented women’s liberation and empowerment from happening in full swing. Men have also been adduced as self-proclaimed czars who have taken away women’s privilege as their appanage. In doing so, men have often been read and remarked as mischievous, perverse, and wicked in their willful means. But not all men are same just as all women are different. Reading a man’s motives may sometimes appear tough while at other times his feelings may be as playful as a tot who sprouts in love. For many of us women, the men in our life have been our life’s axis and we have revolved around them in different garbs. They have been the charmers’ on a date night, or have been our lovers, partners, and confidants. They have also been our greatest pals who have taken a charade of impositions on themselves to save us from the grind. But at other times they have also been our grave abusers. In both ‘either/or’ situations of life, men have shown their zing triggered by their testosterone levels. As our loved ones with a midas touch, they have soaked away our troubles and pain in their steadfastness. At other times, however, they have left us stranded and harrowing for help on life’s empty shores. But most of the time they have been just men, adamant or ardent who love to pursue their true blue nature in anything they embrace with their masculine verve. Yes, they are men, a human species who are judged on their virility and gauged for the many roles they play in our lives as fathers, brothers, husbands, or sons.

Right at birth their social conditioning is different than us women. They are gifted with more freedom and a greater degree of choice. They are taught to be courageous and impudent with occasional reliance on expressing their inner emotions. Perhaps it is one reason that men don’t cry much and they also don’t hug always, but when they do they suffice it with sheer wholeness. Their strength and warmth is also their brute force that keeps us women feeling shielded against the unsought swords, lances, and arrows. Not only this, but man’s cognition and their wisdom is the kingdom of their competence and capability that fills up all the shallow holes of our life though sometimes men can go berserk too. This is when they get tangled up in the fine threads of life, such as when draggled in an extra-marital affair, or when dogged by their dear mother if they support their better half, or when they get caught up between a pertinacious wife and a nagging and provoking daughter. Well those are some of the terrible times when our men are clasped in two worlds! For no rhyme or reason, these clasped men are split apart like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle until they use discretion and gumption to fit all the pieces together to make a clear picture. It’s the man’s foresight, maturity, and emotional stability that we women can always count on. When our beloved men use these gifted qualities in real life situations, they score over other men who don’t. Also, it is our men’s love beneath their logic and not their indiscreet acts that inspires us to look up to them. So let’s stand up in ovation for the many men in our lives who cheer us as our fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons. These men do and can make a difference in a woman’s life.

Copyright (c) 2011 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Photo Courtesy:  fotolog