I am the Spirit of a Woman

Copyright (c) 2010 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarkhaDhar

Say No To Dowry

Marriage is an entity of benign omens and configurations made in the heaven, performed on the earth. It’s a gracious threshold to unification of two souls and of two families. As a prime religious ceremony, its zenith lies in a father’s courage to give away his piece of heart, his daughter in a poised and sacred alliance to another man as her better half. Also known as “Kanya daan” in Hindu wedding, it’s the father of the bride that offers his daughter for marriage on a promise that the groom shall perform his duties as a husband according to the vedic(religious) hymns recited during the ceremony. For a father indeed this is a moment of peak emotions as he fondly remembers the time when he cuddled his little daughter in his arms, rode her on his strong back, was swept away by her fascinating innocence, hugged her when she had a nightmare or a problem just to see that little girl leave to a different destination one day! It must take a father’s breath away to give away his child with such deep feelings and subconscious fear for his daughter’s wellbeing in her new life.    

From invoking loud chants to seven divine circuits of the holy fire (as in Hinduism), marriage is an inception of blushing emotions and a moment of coy as the bride and the groom decide to walk their journey together. With being betrothed comes a great responsibility on the couple to fructify a relationship based on mutual support and love. This elemental feature is the hallmark of being wedded to conjoin and be inseparable. Also known as ‘‘exchange of Vows” or “Saptapadi’’, these are seven significant steps in Hindu rites that defines marriage as an institution based on spiritual bond between the bride and her groom. It’s here that the couple vows to each other a healthy relationship, prosperous living, righteous lifestyle, happiness, harmony and faith, creating a family together, longevity of their marital relationship, and of being true and loyal to each other in order to sustain their companionship. 

If these are the sacraments we preach and practice over centuries in India then 

Why does the holy fire turn into a bride’s pyre? 

Why are some newly wed brides estranged, silently suppressed, emotionally harassed and in worst cases abused and burned to death?   

Is the idea of marriage today companionship or a competitive sale? 

Has education and urbanization taught us nothing at all?

Is being religious, devotional to god through fasting and pilgrimages taught us to suck a father’s blood through dowry if he wants to see his daughter settled and happy? 

When shall we cease inequalities between daughters and daughter-in-laws that cause us to be intellectually, emotionally and religiously immobile to practice what we learn from holy prayers and scriptures? 

Are those people who are ready to bargain their son today, also ready to bargain their own daughter tomorrow? 

If there is a price tag on an individual, is there a bargain for bruised emotions too?

Is being educated professionally, belonging to a good family, being raised with values just not enough for a girl to be happily married? 

Is it moral to ask for dowry in a smart, intelligent way and then later proclaim that ‘we didn’t ask for anything, we didn’t get any anything’? 

How would it feel to lose a young, lively and beautiful daughter? How would it feel to hear her cry, sob with pain? 

What would it be like to face a crisis that haunts most fathers and daughters in India? 

If Dowry means “stri-dhan”(gifts given by parents to their daughter, a property of the woman, her share of her parent’s wealth) then why is she tormented and trampled for her own wealth? 

Can India contain the benefits of globalization if its daughters are strangled by a social evil?

Who should be blamed for this?

 ......the parents of the girl, the girl herself, the in-laws or the society and our state of mind that forces us to such immoral acts through its injurious social comparisons? 

These are some questions that certainly dismay parents in India and abroad as their daughters turn marriageable or are in a marital relationship. If we still wait for someone else to be a Spartan to “say no” to dowry, then who shall be the first one to break this vicious cycle?

Today it’s happening to someone else’s daughter. Tomorrow it could happen to you and your daughter. 

Just think about it! 

Let marriage remain a social institution, a spiritual unification and not a daunting auction. Say No To Dowry.

Copyright (c) 2010 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarkhaDhar

A Gift Called Life

A zest for breathing in and breathing out is what we call life. Its exquisite motley lies in living it with maximum resonance to realize its immaculate glow. As a keepsake of memories and a prose of emotions, life is a journey through time. Its magnificent opus lies in changing from autumn to spring, in rhythm and beats, in dancing to joy, in the aura of abode, in playful and innocent enchantments, in finding your love and espousing it, in being a mother, in working together to work it out, in playing your part as an adventure of cheer and glee, in being confident of your abilities to bend your flaws into potential strengths, in trying to score deftly with each past failed attempts. So let’s raise a toast to life for not living it alone but celebrating it together to move with its flow to live in now. This drive called life however shouldn’t limit here. It may begin its opulent journey now by sharing our blessings with others, unveiling humility to give hope to others on this mystical route to tranquility and Karma. 

As Gautam Buddha said, “So let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful” for this eternal gift called life.

Copyright (c) 2010 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarkhaDhar

Women’s Rights Should Not Be Ostracized

Each day around the world a woman is ostracized. She is abused, neglected, abandoned or ousted from her identity to exist. Her consort, whom she looks up to as her knight in shinning armor becomes her greatest predator. Her valor and enthusiasm for life is often assumed to be audacious. She is continuously prejudiced in her right to survive, in her will to live a life of equality and similitude. Her tolerance for pain and suffering is considered to be her fate and fear. Her emotions are speculated and judged. Soraya. M, a woman sacrificed in the name of honor and stoned to death for alleged adultery almost two decades ago in a village in Iran is a mirror of such tribulation. More than 20 years later, women still are victimized and terrorized around the globe. Their voices are suppressed and their rights are extirpated to shun them of love, dignity and opportunity. 

Soraya.M’s horrific tale, a true story made into a movie by Cyrus Nowrasteh (The Stoning Of Soraya.M, 2008) is a pinch to the soul and a volcanic eruption for the mind. It is not a story of a woman, a village or a country but a story that lapidates the prerogative and state of womanliness. Like her even today many Sorayas are suffocated in relationships, trafficked across borders, abducted to brighten brothels, swindled into sexual drudgery though child marriages, genitally mutilated, beaten and infiltrated through aggravated sexual assault. Are these acts less barbaric than casting of stones? These may not seem as horrifying as stoning. But the screams from such acts emit an equal shrill. If I had simply watched the Stoning of Soraya and wiped my tears that trickled down during the movie’s climax, I would have been incompetent in my service to self and in torching justice for injustice. I hence decided to present my readers with this video to aware and educate on ostracism against innocence, independence and empowerment, which are the basic constituents of woman’s rights. 

In order to understand the necessity to honor a woman’s right; one needs to appreciate the role she plays in our survival. She gives life to gift mankind with the greatest pleasure on earth in being alive. She nurtures in a way that makes one learn the essence of subsistence. As an epitome of love and compassion, she consecrates harmony and happiness in relationships. For man to accept such feature may seem unlikely of his might. But it’s imperative to realize that strength of man’s muscle and character, the power in governances around the orb and the depth of ecclesiastical tenets does not lie in her coercion and crucifixion. With each woman executed physically, mentally and/or emotionally inside her home, on the streets, in business, politics or in foreign lands leaves us with martyrs for causes just like Soraya left with her story for the world to feel her pain. Man and his masculinity shouldn’t just be a symbol of violence and transgression. Likewise regulations and axioms shouldn’t be so gruesome that they become a threat to the spirit and essence of existence. Irrespective of our physicality, for god both men and women are equal for he decides not to reside up above in the blue sky but inside us, in our wisdom and in our deeds. He created man as an epitome of care and courage to fend for his counterpart (not just through marriage or any relationship) but in the chastity of an eclectic circle called humanity. 

So if you are a man and you see a women being expelled of her rights……

• Stand up against violence. You shall be more of a man in doing so
• Care for other women as you would care for your own
• Learn to respect femininity. It may not seem as powerful as masculinity but without it your machismo certainly is incomplete 
• Be an advocate to stop ostracism against women. Talk to peers, family and friends or whoever you think is the smallest dust particle that causes such offense. 
• Everybody says that it’s a man’s world. Is it or isn’t it? is not the question. The real quest is to make this world a better place for everyone to live including every woman you meet in your lifetime, irrespective of her role or abilities.  
• If you are the King, she is the Queen, so treat her like one. You will be a torch bearer for others.  

If you are a woman and you see another woman being blackballed......................

• The best thing you can do is to stop being critical of another woman’s plight  
• Stop mutter or gossip about other woman’s dilemma. Stand up for truth and freedom. It will show your magnanimity and not self-centeredness. 
• A woman standing up for every other woman will empower so many sisters in the spirit circle. It shall lessen half the problems that we women create for each other knowingly or unknowingly throughout our lives. 
• Break the cycle of abuse. Call for help/ emergency or crisis network if you see or know of a woman or child being abused physically, mentally or emotionally.
• Log in http://www.hotpeachpages.net/( an International directory of domestic violence agencies with abuse information in over 80 languages). 

On exposing to such change and bailing out the one in crisis, we shall rescue ourselves from mental handicaps based on discriminations and radical doctrines and realize that women’s rights are human rights.

Copyright (c) 2010 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarkhaDhar

Peace of Mind

Our Mind is an enigma of desires. It’s the abode to infinite thoughts and ménage to potent emotions. In its oscillations through day and night it empowers us with behest. Its astounding power is the beehive of sensation. As a rendezvous of events and experiences, it’s also the stimuli to life’s uncountable expressions. Even while asleep, our mind unearths hidden pleasures and deep aspirations in dreams. Like a bubble it blobs ideas and illusions, imagination and entity, Truth and false, actions and repose, silence and sound, joy and sorrow, anger and calm, fear and strength, angst and ease. In all these bearings, mind’s lore remains the enchantment of our existence. To feel and understand this dynamism requires sobriety and self control. 

In it’s longing for more, either bounty of material or lush of spiritual, our mind travels to great extent. Sometimes its quenchless soars are overwhelming for the senses that disturb the bliss in simple pleasures of life. Our mind’s such state consequently navigates us to aggression, ego, hatred and jealousy thus disturbing its serenity. However, realizing our mind’s benevolence makes us aware of our strengths in being empathetic, compassionate and balanced.

Some of us may remember the primary grade story of ‘Thirsty Crow’ that one by one dropped pebbles into an earthen pot to raise the level of water inside to quench his thirst. Practically, we are like the crow, the earthen pot is our mind; the level of water is our conscience and the pebbles are our thoughts, emotions and actions. With each good deed we incrementally help raise the level of our consciousness to embrace positivity and change. Eventually we attain peace and inner freedom to release ourselves from any resistance. Such state is also known as ‘bodhi’, the supreme enlightenment in Buddhism. However it could be practiced or initiated even through humanitarian state of mind to promote altruism and social conscience.  

As the mind starts such passage, our life gains unique and ubiquitous momentum. 

We ask ourselves who am I? What purpose does my life serve?

Is my net worth more important than counting on my self worth?

Do I need to slow down in my rush to exist?

Does my conscience hurt when I speak lie, defame others or purposely hurt someone?

Am I equal in sharing love with people irrespective of their abilities?

Do I believe that my mind has the power to dwell in peace?

On answering such questions life becomes meaningful to live and peace of mind becomes integral to achieve world peace. 

Copyright (c) 2009 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot

Video Courtesy: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarkhaDhar

Think Feel Act Now

If I had to ask about one critical function that activates our capacity to reason or imagine things, reflect on people or situations, I would vouch for the mind and its mentation in conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious states. As chief of the human body, it’s also the nucleus to our abundant emotions that aptly distinguishes between feeling and willing states and causes us to exert our energies to behave in a certain way through our actions. This synchronization of our mind (thoughts and emotions) with the matter (substantiality) has the power to transform us from potential to actual to motivate and introduce us to realms of change. Writing this post is one such attempt to attune to my sensibilities in order to connect to that of my readers. It’s an effort to unite, to think, feel and act as different identities that are living to form similarity to contribute to the completeness of our existence.

Thinking and feeling as the requisites of life, are also the cornerstones of our natural or superficial identity with its voltage to influence people around us. It’s the psychological facet of existence that differentiates us from one another. However it’s also a unique aspect of our personality dynamics that can incite appropriate actions to feat. Capitalizing on these faculties as our competencies for ‘collaborative change’ can indeed be a successful humanistic impression for wholesome life. Using at least one idiosyncrasy of our positive thought and affirmative feeling can ratify inspiring actions to sway back and forth in our courage to care and share, in our manifestation to lead and lend, in our adulation and respect for each other and in a presage to preserve and protect. By knowing thyself in such manner in spirit and touch, believe and esteem, idea and instinct, demeanor and devotion, experience and expression, a peerless mission of living life is accomplished. The video shared in this post, in its simple, plain message conveys that gift of integrity and the ‘power of being’ in each of us now, the power that has the strength and greatness to create and achieve now, and the bend to share our virtuous talents now.

Copyright (c) 2009 - present Dharbarkha.blogspot
Video Courtesy: Youtube/Sonia Ricotti